Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Ruminations From A Dog Whose Steps Are Close To Heaven

I remember the first time I ever saw the lady who was to eventually open her heart to me in the winter of my life.

There was a party with lots of humans engaging in the kinds of things that humans often do {talking,laughing,drinking and eating}, and barely anyone stopped to notice that I was there, following the boy around that brought me from New York to Los Angeles.

The blond lady who kept talking to me and trying to befriend me was someone who took the time to notice me,the scruffy dog with cataracts in both eyes.I could still see somewhat,but she kept staring as if to try and sense my true emotional state in the middle of all of the human merriment. She stroked me numerous times,but I only wanted to be in the lap of the boy whose family I had belonged to since I was a puppy.The lady was socializing well enough, but I could see the sadness in her being,but that was only because I was a dog and dogs can sense things beyond the perceptions of humans.

I overheard the lady with the sad eyes, say to someone that she was concerned about me, the dog with the sad eyes.Maybe it was just a case of recognizing sadness in one another but the following week my owner left me with her for what was to be a week, and turned out to bemy forever home. I waited by the living room window for three months waiting for him to return,but to no avail. Even though the blond lady had three other dogs that she loved beyond measure, I remember the day she realized that I occupied a sincere place in her heart.

She was holding me while I was in her lap by the window and she noticed for the first time, my exceedingly distinguished and beautiful long eyelashes.

To my amazement,the lady told me that she loved me and that she never realized how handsome and wise I was until she noticed my long, beautiful eye lashes that framed my clouded eyes.It was then that I instantly recognized that she really truly loved me even though I was to be with her a relatively short time in both of our lives. I will always treasure and dream of the days with my original family, but if I had to have someone to could give me a forever home I would choose the blond lady.

When her three other dogs passed away almost all at the same time, I was there to let her love me and to fill a space that could not have otherwise been filled. Yes it has been a challenging life and things have not always gone my way,but the blond lady who loves me will be there when it is my time to say goodbye.

I just know, truly know, that one day we will all get to greet one another at the Rainbow Bridge, no matter who we ever belonged to, for love is what remains and that is all there really is. It's just that some know it better than others.

Monday, August 1, 2011

The Most Beautiful Message

It was in the nineth Fall of my life , while staying in Saint Louis that the most precious thing had ever happened to me, happened! I was "given" a sister to call my own. It did not matter that our fathers were not the same, for that was the "stuff" of grown ups.

All I cared about was that I would NEVER be "only'' again, for the little blond bundle that arrived on October third was named Angela. She was to eventually become our Angel, and for six short years I got to be her sister.

My step father played professional football with the Saint Louis Cardinals and I attended a school called Immaculata. In school we prayed more than we did anything else and were informed with frequency what sinners we were. My mother and step father were a glamorous couple socializing and being photographed.

Angel, the little blond bundle who sneezed every time I held her, got to be mine. I spent many a Saturday evening with Angel tucked in my arms while watching Outer Limits and Twilight zone. As life was lived and after many losses, Angel was three when we were "gifted" with a cherub of a baby brother to call our own.

I loved this platinum duo more than what any twelve year old should be capable of. When I was very young I embodied the emotions of someone who had lived a hundred years with a hundred losses. My wisdom was pre natural and I loved beyond my chronological years. Some may call it Indigo.

Angela named me "Kookie", when she first began speaking. Even our little blond cherub of a brother called me "Kookie". After Angel's flight and many years gone by, my own little girl had never been told that I had at one time been named "Kookie".

One morning when my daughter was seven years old while taking her to school, she stopped and wrote with her index finger in the dust on the rear window of my car, Angel Kookie. My heart stopped briefly and I was a little unnerved . When I could appreciate the magic of that good omen my heart filled with joy. My daughter unknowingly had just delivered the most beautiful message from the other side. Angel is still with me.