Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Aphrodite for the day

I had just arrived in Paris, fresh from high school graduation and with a modeling portfolio of very American photographs. Eileen Ford had made arrangements for me to be represented by Models International.

I was instructed to get some new shots with a French photographer,and that we would be shooting on the beach in Britany. It was about a three hour drive from Paris. I was whisked away in a taxi cab yellow VW bug convertible. It was early July and it was bright and hot with enormous castle like clouds billowing high into the sky.

The photographer spoke no English,and I no French yet.Vivaldi's Four Seasons played on the cassette the whole trip.I cannot hear the Four Seasons without the exquisite French Countryside pervading my mind with its cinematic beauty. I was excited and filled with anticipation.

My changing room was one of the bunkers from the Battle of Dunkirk, and there I was changing into sexy bathing suit after sexy bathing suit for my romps in front of the lens. In my final shot I was braless and wearing a white gauze tunic while emerging from the swirling surf. It was an effort to become less modest working in France for their asthetic often required revealing breasts in a natural way...nothing like the cheesy American pin up way.

As I worked in front of the camera I could see the bunkers from the Battle of Dunkirk and was struck by how at times, how surreal life could be.

Only thirty years before one of the biggest battles of WWII was waged, and there I was frolicking in the sea, and feeling every bit like an almost eighteen year old Aphrodite.

Monday, September 19, 2011

My Dinner Table

At my dinner table we were American, Chinese, El Salvadoran, Swedish, German and Polish. Our similarities were more shared than our differences. Maybe we were born in different lands, but we were all of the planet Earth. We were joyful to be dining at my table celebrating Persian New Year that particular evening by way of my cuisine.

In spite of the news of wars and political candidates with their empty promises,and our collective heartbreaks, we gathered as Human Beings.

Human Beings of this miraculous Planet Earth, connected by our shared stories, our laughter and savouring "The Now". It was simply a joyful evening at my dinner table, a celebration of life.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

A Lover's Resurgence

A thunderous wave from the sea's vast womb enveloped me with forceful foaming arms, Trapped in riptide struggle,you materialized in clouded under water eyes.

The Sun's searchlight beams penetrated me.In the murkey green you were illuminated

in silver mettalic and gold.

Torrential feelings stirred, long since harbored in an inner sanctum. I was swallowed by churning waters.Spinning,drowning in your image until Destiny intervened and the turbulent tide spat me to the shore.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Arrows and Such

Was it just words? I could swear those words were arrows. Not of Eros and Nirvana but searing in their disparate points of view. A tender admission unrehearsed and naked, intended to convey,not betray in its imperfect expression. Words like arrows banished me... a free fall in this abyss, this day seems too much to rouse me to light and blue sky.

I am all to aware that this morning may bring more of what came yesterday.

Perhaps tender admissions require sanctity clothed in the recesses of my heart... stifled in perfect fear and words in my throat like arrows can be kept at bay.

I ask myself to what end am I willing, am I able, to say good bye to that insular space that moors me, and risk this zealously protected being, disarming once and for all words and arrows and such?

Monday, September 5, 2011

It's Love

When you meet someone and you take notice when their attention is focused a little more on what you say than not. Your eyes linger slightly more than if you were being polite by simply making eye contact during conversation but careful not to inundate. The pulse quickens with the accidental touching of fingers while reaching for something simultaneously, struck by the subtle scent that intoxicates... a zig zag to the stomach that convulses so gently with pleasure.

Their voice becomes languid, stirring and honey - like. Every word, every sentence and every paragraph formed seems novel... gentle, awkward silences surround feelling profound, wrapping around and in between and into your center until there is no telling where they begin or you end. In you. In them.

With one another. With one. Only one. With them. It's love.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Will These Walls Miss Us Too?

When I reflect upon the sanctity a home provides I feel affection and sadness for the the walls that bore witness to, the most intimate moments of the living of our lives. Our family was comprised of a mother, a daughter, five beloved dogs and two dwarf rabbits.

Various aunts, uncles and cousins have been guests along the way, and treasured friends from all parts of the world. These walls have observed jovial dinner parties, tantrums, heartbreaks and the joys of new beginnings. There has been outrageous laughter, worry, sadness and the plain ol' celebrating of everyday life.

Our walls have been adorned with paintings and objets' art from China, Mynamar and Thailand and I ask myself will they miss representing us in their exotic dressings?

This space that we call home that we have occupied for almost seven years, has been a stage for "living theatre" in its myriad forms. The brilliant little girl who grew up with Chinese red lacquer walls in her room, is beckoned eastward and beyond, having morphed into an exquisite young woman. Four of our canine family members are on the other side, but it is these walls that saw the humor, love and protection they endlessly gave.
The claw marks inside the front door in the Russian blue paint are the expressed indignation of our Rottweiler Layla when at times, she was left behind. Those marks will be missed,for they are proof of her having lived, and what she gave in all of her protective splendor.

So it is with our most recent canine family member, Bachhus that I will wave good bye to my once -upon- a- time princess as she answers to her callings.

As for me, I am finally looking forward, after so much practicing of "letting go". I will recreate, and begin anew as I have always done. It's just that these walls will truly be missed and on some level, I ask myself if they perhaps, will miss us too?